The Most Useless Adventure Motorcycle Mods And Bling!

/ General Mods / Quick_Links / 6 minutes of reading

Now and then we all see some products for our precious adventure motorcycles that completely do not make sense. Some at the first glance might look like a good idea, if they worked as claimed, but most of the time are totally useless, not needed and sometimes even dangerous, and the funny thing is people are using them!

So here it is, a never ending list (I’ll keep topping it up as I go) of all the useless mods and bling that the rider could splash their money on, to turn their bike into a Unique clown’s show! No offence to anyone here though! If you have it, and you like it, good for you, now keep reading!

10 # Fork/Axle Sliders.

Ok these are cool, for bikes with smaller wheels and not so wide handlebars, much like on sports bikes… but for adventure bikes? Only a madman would fit something like that on an adventure bike! Chances are that forks will never reach the ground, and riding trails the last thing anyone would want is something sticking out on the side catching every rock, root and branch on its way! (yes, seen that!)

9 # LED / HID Headlight bulbs.

I’m not talking about headlights that were designed for such bulbs, but normal headlights designed for normal Halogen bulbs. “Conversion” kits that come with only a bulb (and or ballast). Only fools who don’t understand how headlight reflectors are designed will stick them in thinking they will be a “cool kid on the block”. But in reality everyone on the road will hate you for dazzling them, even worse, you will hate you for having them in rainy weather or a long ride as that nice bright white light will drive you mad soon after. 

8 # Brake Fluid reservoir Sock.

I find it silly seeing those silly reservoir socks (more common on sports bikes), especially branded! To my understanding the brake fluid reservoir is transparent or with a sight window for a simple reason – so that the rider could monitor not only the level of the fluid but also the colour. Covering such an important part with useless thing like a fluffy sock is not cool at all, what is cool however is a nice clean brake fluid!

7 # Rear Brake Oil Reservoir Protector.

This one goes without mentioning… why? Why on earth would someone “protect ” something that’s most of the time is out of the way in the first place? Styling?

6 # Neoprene motorcycle fork socks.

Yeah I know, some say it’s a super duper thing and the best thing anyone can do to protect the fork seals and stanchions… yeah right… imagine wearing waterproof socks while doing a multi day marathon… running through water, mud, sand then letting them dry out and doing the same thing again and again – how quickly do you think you will get sores on your feet? Stanchions are like your feet, 1 grain of sharp sand lodged somewhere will rub the hard chrome to the point where it’s no longer nice and smooth and then bye bye to your hard earned cash for a new set, and stanchions aren’t cheap. How many enduro riders use them? None. They do use “mud scrapers” over the seals, but they go over just before competition, and come off straight after. Don’t fool yourself with clever advertising, if manufacturers thought they are good – bikes would come with them from the factory, much like some bikes used to with rubber boots on normal forks.

5 # Motorcycle Blind Spot Mirrors.

This is another silly idea… No one, and I mean no one should rely just on mirrors! No matter how many mirrors someone chooses to fit – Mirrors are there just to help riders to be aware of the surroundings only. It looks silly and cluttered, and still shoulder checks are needed to be fully aware when changing lanes for example! Not sure about other countries, but in the UK motorcycles don’t even need them to pass the MOT (Ministry of Transport test). 

4 # Headlight protection.

Not sure where this trend came from, but it is one of the most ridiculous things that you can do to your bike – seriously! If it’s not a clear protective film over the headlight, then it’s only blocking your headlight, reducing visibility at night and chances are that your headlight wasn’t great even when it came out from the factory (most of them aren’t great anyway!). Then there is this thing called “dirt” that covers the headlight, and if you can’t get to your headlight to clean it properly before heading home – chances are that you will struggle getting home in the dark with that thing on! Oh and what does it protect? Go ahead, and ask on your preferred community page for a drop of wisdom, ask how many had their headlights smashed by flying rocks? (I did that, the answer I got – 0!) 

3 # Cheap spotlights. 

Seriously, if your headlight isn’t good enough, it’s probably a good idea to look for an upgrade. Cheap spotlights might look cool, but their light pattern is all over the place, and everyone will hate you for keeping them on as you will keep blinding everyone in your path. Dangerous not only for the rider but for everyone else including friends riding in front – trust me. Those should not be used on the road, or at night and If you want to look cool, use them only at day time, if you need a little bit extra at night- treat them like a Full beam and dont be a nuisance on the road. Oh and wait! Spotlight fitment – make sure to fit them at the widest spot of your bike for the maximum chance of them getting knocked off and damaging your bike too! 

2 # Useless Motorcycle Crash Bars!

Don’t get me wrong here, I love a good set of crash bars! But… the thing is that most of them are useless, and more likely to cause more damage than protect something! There are 2 ways to tell if crash bars for that specific bike will be any good, 1. What kind of metal they were made off, and  2. How many mounting points! (1) Aluminium might sound good, but for heavier bikes aluminium is too soft and will be squashed in a first fall, and fall doesn’t have to be a bad one either. (2) Anything with less than 3 points on one side will bend like crazy, and most likely will damage something else while doing so. 

1 # Aftermarket gear indicator!

Seriously? Well ok, I assume if you just started riding motorcycles and your picked bike has no gear indicator as standard, perhaps you think that aftermarket one would make your  life easier, but the truth is, they are useless. Those gear indicators that hook up to the speedometer and tachometer, do nothing but guess what gear the rider is most likely using by judging the speed and engine rpm. The funny thing is that they do get it wrong sometimes, so can not be trusted, they need setting up every time the battery was removed and most importantly riders should feel if they need to go one gear up or down, and concentrate on looking at the road instead of the gear indicator! If the engine is revving like crazy – 1 gear up, if sputtering – 1 down, simple as that!

Explore More!

A list of posts about Bike Maintenance and General Modifications that might be Interesting to know! 

General Modifications:

  1. Throttle Tamer Mods (4 ways to tame your horse!)
  2. Projector headlight conversion from right side road traffic to left and vice versa. 
  3. How to make your own Exhaust or how to modify an existing one.
  4. Power Commander (PCV) and Thoughts on it.
  5. Brake Snake / Pedal Anchor – why and how!
  6. Lighter Clutch Mods:
  7. Rear Suspension and Drive-Train:
  8. The List of Most Useless Adventure Motorcycle Mods And Bling!
  9. Dangers of the lowering kits (things to know before Lowering your Bike!

Bike Maintenance:

  1. How to pass MOT the first time – every time!
  2. How to Maintain your motorcycle Locks (works with all locks!)
  3. Best Suspension Bearing Grease!
  4. What grease to use on your motorcycle?
  5. How to shorten Life of your wheel bearings! (Or what not to do to them!)
  6. Why should you grease your bolts! (And not only Bearings!)
  7. What is the best Chain Lube for your motorcycle?
  8. How to buy used Motorcycle – Free Guide.
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